Sunday, February 10, 2013

Tell me what you think...

Fifteen year old Melissa is geared up to have a fun summer with her friends.  But things change when her nightmares become realistic like a tractor digging for graves.  Then, Missy gets trapped in a tunnel with a boy she likes.  And to top it off, she finds out her mom has a link to a person on The American Most Wanted Counterfeit list.

Does this paragraph what you to know more?  Thanks for your feed back.  Working on that query hook letter.


  1. Hmmm. Jeannette, can you tell us a little bit more? I think what you're trying to write is a pitch for your book. It should be about three short paragraphs, not giving away the atory, but showing some conflict that is encountered and a solution. You have already introduced your MC and I like that first sentence. Plus you have listed a bit of what goes on, but how does Missy (Melissa) tackle this?

    I hope this helps. I'm not the greatest at writing pitches, but I have written a few of them.


  2. I would agree, you need more, two or three paragraphs with pictures. If you want people to read books, then do it like studios do for movies: create a trailer for the book. I'm not suggesting a video--but you could go that route--but you should do a book presentation that get us to understand the plot, the ups and downs of the main character, just enough, to get us to run out and get a copy. Do a...BOOK TALK. Google that term and do some research on it.

    1. @ Robert, I redid it. I have been thinking of doing a trailer, but wasn't sure how to go about it, so thanks for the info on that. I do think that would help.

  3. This sounds intriguing, but what is "The American Most Wanted Counterfeit List"? That's something I've never heard of.

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    1. I made that up Arlee as I was typing. I redid it and got a letter ready to paste for a real one to send. This will be the one that needs help. I was trying to come up with a catching paragraph you would read on the back of a book. Anyway, thanks.

  4. Jeanette,

    As a pitch this is good. Shorter is always better as long as you get what you need said. it has a great hook and would draw my attention to it. It can be longer, but in my opinion, does not need to be. Now make yourself a one sentence tagline to go with it. As an example, here's mine:

    Happy times, a sunny day, a driving drunk, eight lives forever changed.

    You want it to tell the whole story in one sentence--the sentence can be as long as a paragraph, if punctuated right--but again, shorter is always better.

    On your book back you can write a short synopsis of the book and try to keep ait at 150 words. It will look a lot like your pitch but give more info--except not the ending.

    Good luck


    1. Thank you Micki, If you read my new post I did shorten it a little for my 1st sentence of a query letter. But you are right, coming up with the right words to grab your attention til the end. I'll start working on it.