Sunday, February 10, 2013

Tell me what you think...

Fifteen year old Melissa is geared up to have a fun summer with her friends.  But things change when her nightmares become realistic like a tractor digging for graves.  Then, Missy gets trapped in a tunnel with a boy she likes.  And to top it off, she finds out her mom has a link to a person on The American Most Wanted Counterfeit list.

Does this paragraph what you to know more?  Thanks for your feed back.  Working on that query hook letter.

8 comments:

  1. Hmmm. Jeannette, can you tell us a little bit more? I think what you're trying to write is a pitch for your book. It should be about three short paragraphs, not giving away the atory, but showing some conflict that is encountered and a solution. You have already introduced your MC and I like that first sentence. Plus you have listed a bit of what goes on, but how does Missy (Melissa) tackle this?

    I hope this helps. I'm not the greatest at writing pitches, but I have written a few of them.

    Sunni

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would agree, you need more, two or three paragraphs with pictures. If you want people to read books, then do it like studios do for movies: create a trailer for the book. I'm not suggesting a video--but you could go that route--but you should do a book presentation that get us to understand the plot, the ups and downs of the main character, just enough, to get us to run out and get a copy. Do a...BOOK TALK. Google that term and do some research on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Robert, I redid it. I have been thinking of doing a trailer, but wasn't sure how to go about it, so thanks for the info on that. I do think that would help.

      Delete
  3. This sounds intriguing, but what is "The American Most Wanted Counterfeit List"? That's something I've never heard of.

    Lee
    Have you ever tried compiling a life soundtrack?
    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I made that up Arlee as I was typing. I redid it and got a letter ready to paste for a real one to send. This will be the one that needs help. I was trying to come up with a catching paragraph you would read on the back of a book. Anyway, thanks.

      Delete
  4. Jeanette,

    As a pitch this is good. Shorter is always better as long as you get what you need said. it has a great hook and would draw my attention to it. It can be longer, but in my opinion, does not need to be. Now make yourself a one sentence tagline to go with it. As an example, here's mine:

    Happy times, a sunny day, a driving drunk, eight lives forever changed.

    You want it to tell the whole story in one sentence--the sentence can be as long as a paragraph, if punctuated right--but again, shorter is always better.

    On your book back you can write a short synopsis of the book and try to keep ait at 150 words. It will look a lot like your pitch but give more info--except not the ending.

    Good luck

    Mickiil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Micki, If you read my new post I did shorten it a little for my 1st sentence of a query letter. But you are right, coming up with the right words to grab your attention til the end. I'll start working on it.

      Delete